Hawkeye (2021)

No, your other hawkeye

Now that MCU is this years old, it shows its superiority over the comics. Earth-616 is constantly adding these new characters to pass the mantle, but just like putin the old guys refuse to go away and still hang around. Even if they disappear for a bit, they will always return. Same old stale faces for a hundred of years in same stale repetitive “adventures” with the same stale enemies. These old people cling to life and to their power, constantly rewriting history until the public will become absolutely sick of seeing their faces. Meanwhile MCU is tied to the real-life people, so they have to rotate the cast, even if to fill the old portfolios with younger characters.

Bringing a bow to a gunfight

This is a show serialized to the point of being a big bloated movie. And it doesn’t look too impressive. Action scenes look so fake. Are they entirely out of shape? The choreography is artificial and their acting doesn’t sell the action at all. They don’t look cool, they look scripted.

Archers should be support characters or the script should be written for them to shoot from afar and to not engage in frantic hand to bow combat. And the directors didn’t even watch any of the trickshot archers on the YouTube. Both characters have the dorky quivers on the back instead of on the leg or pre-placing them or grabbing 5 arrows at the time.

Aren’t you supposed to make a fantasy movie more cool than a real guy with a bow, not less cool than olympic shooting?

And the actors are extremely awkward around the bows showing just how bad the idea is. Unlike the comics you can’t communicate only in the end-results, you communicate in motions and motions betray everything and break the suspension of disbelief. When Hawkeye is a background minor character it’s not noticeable but this whole thing is about them.

The sound design is really bad. For some reason they decided to use the retro cartoony sound library for every action. Like when a plush toy hits a guy in the face it has that overused wet sound of punching a pig carcass. The OST has a ton of ballet music and it is so not fitting here. It doesn’t work for juxtaposition because it’s like 50+ years late and done to death and of course it doesn’t work sincerely.
And the CGI is so bad. I rarely bring it up even in extra-low budget movies for kids, but this extra mainstream thing looks like something without budget from the 00s.

Ronin dindunaffin

Countries abolish the death penalty not to be merciful to criminals. They do it only for the sake of (marginal) civilians so they wont convert into more criminals. The humane treatment of irredeemable criminals have a general chilling effect on the violence in a society.

Well. No wonder no one even talks about this show and everyone already forgot it exists. The writing is so weak it’s not even Hawkeye’s tier. The events are improbable. The plot and the story are stale and the writing is so tired.

The copypasted characters have copypasted dynamics, and the acting here doesn’t sell even that at all. You don’t even have to have any field of reference. All this was done not just in every movie ever, it was already done many times inside the MCU and done better. And it’s not like anyone wants to watch a Hawkeye-199999 show outside of the MCU context.

They are “joking” about the classic costumes as if it’s still 00s. There is a “joke” about eating reindeer, brought to you by a team of writers who never ate a reindeer, performed by actors who never ate reindeer. >>white people

If you can’t understand that your relatives are hitlers maybe you are not bright enough? Or maybe you are supporting that? Putting bad people above good people only due to the genetic similarity? I think i heard something like that somewhere already, can’t put my finger on it. And this is kinda a central theme here shared by several characters.

Renner barely started getting big roles now, and here he already looks like an old beat-down alcoholic. On the other hand i can’t remember him ever having a role that made him look very fun, so whatever. He is deaf here and they have a scene where his hearing aid is broken. Yet after that he makes many shots purely on sound. No he is not a daredevil, and they point it out. Those shouldn’t be possible for him.

Kate Bishop is annoying garbage. She poorly plays a poorly written character. I hope when she appears in the next movies she would have better writing and put more effort in it. So, did Ronin wear stick-legs girl-sized jeggins? She is smaller than Clint and when she goes over a fence the pants are child-sized. And in the next shot she is magically in baggy tracksuit pants.

I really didn’t care about “Yelena” in that poorly made piece of shit racist trash garbage tosh. But here they made her even more annoying than Bishop and her acting is as bad. She whines so much about Black Widow as if they even know each other. But they, like, talked for about 15 minutes total during their own movie and spent a month or something together when they were little. They are literally strangers with a parasocial relationship between their tulpas of each other.
And of course all foreigners have a garbage fake accent that is extremely annoying.

D’onofrio is a cool actor and all. But this Kingpin that was a bit hyped to me is very unimpressive. I hope he is better in the other serials and will be better when he appears in the future. He acts fake and that voice he is doing is so unnatural. Damn i miss Michael Clarke Duncan, he was the best Kingpin i saw.

Overall this serial is not exactly bad and it’s definitely not boring. Even the action scenes. While they are not good, they are not as bad as in Falcon. But it’s stale and copypasted. It’s like reheated week-old popcorn — it is not soggy yet, but it’s not crisp either.