Solaris (2002)

“Содерберг сделал «Солярис» — я думал, что худшим был «Солярис» Тарковского…” — Lem, «Lampa», 2004, № 4, Warszawa

[~And i though the one by Тарковский was the worst] Can’t find a proof, though.

I really, really wanted to like it just out of spite. It even starts with actually showing the docking sequence in proper SFX. And then everything falls apart. It’s a remake of the 1972 movie, not an adaptation of the book. And it’s a worst kind of a re-make — it assumes that you are already familiar with the original. It omits big chunks of the cause and effect, while building some new unexplained constructions on top of it for no reason. Even the Solaris itself was turned from iconic eerie and bizarre your old man’s fried soup into a boring generic hollywood blue sphere with lightnings.

It is even more pointless confusing and dull, it’s not just a bad movie, it’s full frontal terrible movie. Even their SFX look worse than no-budget version of 1972. It jumps around and the story feels rushed because the plot is completely nonsensical in all the wrong places. 1972 at least showed us how everyone is loosing their minds and suffer from mundanity on a decaying station, before hitting us with art-house sequences. Characters actually talked to each-other and expressed their feels. But here you go from memeberry to memeberry without sequentiality or explanation and then it ends with terrible pointless stale unending.

Трах-бабах и нет его.

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